3:30 AM

3:30 AM

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is anyone else awake? Anyone else up, fully awake at 3:30 AM?

I’ve actually been up since midnight.  Made the mistake of falling asleep watching TV after dinner, and got enough sleep apparently.  Read half of Anne LaMott’s Bird by Bird and my eyes are scratchy.

Tried taking a sleeping pill at midnight.  Nothing.  Took some Robitussin with Codeine with it (I”m recovering from the flu).  Normally that combo will work.  Nope. Not tonight. Or rather, not this morning.

Took another sleeping pill (melatonin) at 1:30 in desperate hopes. Nope.  Still awake. Tried to wear myself out by playing innumerable games of Candy Crush, Candy Crush Soda, Farm Rescue, Pet Rescue, Cookie Jam.  Nothing.  My eyes are even more itchy and scratchy now.

I’m punchy because I need to sleep, but it’s 3:30 AM and the alarm goes off at 6:30 AM. If I actually fall asleep now it will be worse than powering through the alarm and the workday.

Image courtesy of Arvind Balaraman at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Arvind Balaraman at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3:30 AM.  The hour of existential angst.  The world outside is quiet. No cars are rushing by, no children are calling out in the park behind my house.  The only sound is from a wind chime as it flutters in the very slight breeze.  It’s not even making a wind-chimey sound.  It’s just dinging; just one chime is chiming.  Is chiming a word? It must be, because my spell checker didn’t get upset.

Two of my dogs are with me.  LeeLee because she is my limpet, attached to me wherever I go.  She is huddled in her cave underneath the table at my feet.  Maggie (my favorite, don’t tell the others!) lays next to me.  She gazes up at me.  She can’t figure out why I left the cozy bed to come work on the computer.  But as is the loyal way of dogs, she follows me.

3:30 AM. Man I’m tired.  I have a woozy headache, probably from one too many melatonin pills.  Did you know that in Europe you need to have a prescription to get melatonin? But in the States you can just buy it over the counter.

Image courtesy of Liz Noffsinger at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Liz Noffsinger at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3:30 AM. Am I the only one awake?  I check Facebook but no one else seems to be awake.  Lots of requests for Candy Crush lives though. I troll through my newsfeed getting updated on friend’s lives.  One friend is at dinner, another is buying wind chimes made of tea pots and spoons, another is being installed as PSAR president. Another is whale watching and yet another was surfing.

Oh, and it’s Girl Scout cookie time.  How many boxes of Thin Mints shall I buy for the office? I will have to avoid grocery stores in the afternoons for about a month now, as I am committed to a neighbor’s child and a vendor’s daughter as well.

These are the random thoughts I have at 3:30 AM.

Now it’s Your Turn! What do you do at 3:30 AM when you can’t sleep?

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About Susanne

I am a 45 year old married woman who is a survivor of child abuse, addiction and low self-esteem. I hid it well and battled it privately. I spent 10 years reading self-help books, watching videos, going to therapy and seminars, and as I healed, I was able to guide my friends through their own healing journey. I have been compelled to start this blog in the hope that, if you are reading it, you are looking for answers I may be able to provide, guidance on how to walk through the spiritual quest we call healing.